I know. I’m crazy. Most people wouldn’t care or notice, but me, well I’m the guy who moved the red frying pans back to the red section when someone mistakenly put them in the black section. No harm, no foul, but they just didn’t belong there. (Ann knows of this ‘condition’, it’s one of the reasons she married me – I think).
Continuing in the “Red and Black are obviously different, let’s be clear about that” theme I stumbled into the candy aisle while killing time. I browse the Twizzlers and red vines because they remind me of my friend Mark Hereld who used to eat them constantly when we worked together a few years ago.
Back to the grocery store and the present, I saw the red vines in the picture above and was horrified. Do you see it? It makes no sense?
They have red vines in the red vines package, purple vines in the grape vines package, and black vines in the red vines package!?
Black is to White as Day is to ?
Red == Red Vines
I get this. It makes sense. There is no fruit, no flavor, just a color.
Purple != Grape Vines (but at least in the right family!?)
This is acceptable, uncomfortable for me, but acceptable. Purple could be eggplant, black raspberries, plums, or grapes. They chose grapes. For “Red Vines” Purple is Grape.
Black != Red Vines
This is wrong. Wrong. My head hurts wrong. And what’s worse, I can’t fix it! I can’t repackage them all in the “Black Vines” or even “Licorice Vines” package. It’s killing me. I’m going to have to go buy all the “Black Vines” and hide them somewhere.
HELP RED VINES! What’s a (semi-normal, slightly pedantic) guy to do!?
Seattle has opened my eyes to the “chaos” — I’m sure our Red Vines in Montana weren’t so confused.